Set Fear Aside

There comes a time
When you must set fear aside
Each moment leading up to that time
Is more painful than the last
As fear closes in
Squeezing every cell
Every fiber
Of your being
Until the simple act
Of expanding your lungs
Is a near-impossible feat of perseverance
Pushing your will power
To live
To survive
Beyond what you think are your limits
Only to find
When you finally say
ENOUGH
I can't live like this
And you step past the fear
Dropping it like the baggage it is
That not only can you now breathe
But that the air is sweet
And full of hope
And love
And you are so much
Stronger
So much more
Alive
So much more
You.
But only after you take that first
Seemingly impossible
Step
And set fear aside.
It's not impossible.
And it is time.

It Should Be Raining

Words, sounds, syllables,

phrases, thoughts, ideas, noise

jumbled in my head. 

Naked emotions

flow freely competing for

the breath to gain life. 

Finding new lessons

patience, compassion, faith, trust

hardest in my life. 

Learning watching him

He shows me such patient love

His love centers me. 

Trying to focus

on the truly important

not getting bogged down. 

Never my intent

hating that I have caused pain

you deserved better. 

Laughter, color, love

our children's faces happy

things I believe in. 

Time changes people

I wish we could undo it

doesn't work that way. 

Encouraging words

unconditional love, trust

the things he gives me 

I want to be proud

of myself, our kids, and you

how we handle this. 

I found the courage

to say I don't deserve this

we all deserve more. 

It looks sunny out

emotional disconnect

it should be raining. 

Chase away the clouds

my favorite things, my loves

colors bright and bold.