Thank You

When I thought I was at the bottom

you held me through the pain

gave me words

and music

set my soul free

And when I kept sinking

lower than I could imagine

you were the knot

at the end of my rope

that I held on to for dear life

A nervous cat had nothing on me

I trembled at the slightest sound

your voice calmed the storm

chased the demons

told me I would make it through

I believed in you

even when I didn't believe in me

you were always right

so smart, so strong

the answer to my questions

Now I'm so much stronger

no longer afraid

of what the future holds

and still I have the music

now I sing the words

I've let go of the pain

free to dance happily

you are always there for me

friends no matter what 

the future holds

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear

(it crippled me,

left me sobbing on the floor,

completely paralyzed)

was to be alone

Was, because I finally understand

that even when you aren't here

I will never

ever

be completely alone

I am deeply loved

completely loved

unconditionally

across time and distance

Loved

Now there is nothing 

to fear

nothing I can not do

because I am loved

by you.

The Music of Your Soul

I hear the music 

of your soul 

the syncopated rhythm 

of your love 

and I dance.

Discovering Truths

‎​I love when you are my muse

And help me think things through

Discovering truths alone is good.

Discovering truths with someone you love

Is Nirvana.

Originally published November 16, 2010

Venturing Out Into the Unknown

The unknown is a terrifying place
I am learning that every day
I hate it
But I can't get to a better place
Without first venturing out into the unknown


Originally published November 17, 2010

Even More

Sounds and syllables strung together
in just the right ways
form your words
and make me love you
even more


Originally published November 16, 2010

Sleep Eludes Me

Sleep eludes me
yet again
I turn my thoughts to you
and finally fall asleep
with a smile on my face.

Originally published November 14, 2010

The Poet

When I write poetry I usually have a thought or feeling in mind when I start.  I usually narrow it down to a word or two and then I hold this idea gently at the front of my mind.  In my mind's eye I see this 'thing'.  I turn it around; caressing it, and let the words come to me.  Often it takes a number of these little poems for me to feel that I am satisfied with my expression of whatever the thought or feeling was.

My poetic forms of preference are the haiku (often the subform of the senryu) and the gogyohka.  These little poems are meant to stand alone.  Yet, I usually have a string of them that as a larger whole becomes a different sort of piece completely.

While I like the results I have achieved in these super-sized versions, I am learning to trust these little poems by themselves or in smaller groups.  So, the next few posts will be truer to the nature of these forms than I have been in the past.  In doing this, I am also forcing myself to work harder to get complete thoughts down in a much smaller space.

Please leave comments if anything strikes you in any way, good or bad.  The only way I improve at anything I do in life is through feedback.

As always, thank you for spending some of your precious time and thought visiting here.

My darling poet

empty your heart on the page

tell me your desire.

You are so quiet

your poems, so eloquent

sing your unsaid words.

Originally published November 11, 2010

In Your Shadow

I am content

to stand in your shadow

sit at your feet

watching, listening, learning from you

for now.

One day soon

I will take your words

stack them end to end

climb up and jump off

and soar.

Until then

I am content

filling my mind

and my soul

with you.

Originally published September 23, 2010

Good and Evil

Evil may lurk

in the hearts of men

but it takes

a woman

to unleash it

Soulful siren bewitching all

enticing others to do your bidding

taking pleasure and pain

greedy whore

taking all

Is it ever truly possible to reconcile a person

balance good and evil

profane and profound

no

accept them as they are and move on

Originally published September 22, 2010

Sleepless Insecurity

You haunt my dark night

thoughts of you send me sleepless

into tomorrow.

My voice's echo

reverberates around me

it too is alone.

The night's blackness clings

an inky residue left

hanging on my soul.

No point in crying

 only insecurity

to share in my tears.

The cricket's chirping

lullabye for other souls

mocks my dreamless state.

As the world slumbers

alone awake and alone

my sentence final.

As the dark night lifts

ushering in the new day

so lifts my spirit. 

At dawn's first flicker

ember of hope glows in me

as I wait for you.

My fragility

held down so well in the light

runs free in the dark.

I question myself

I question all that I know

when left with myself.

I can't ask my friends

to be at my beck and call

because I am weak.

A heavyness falls

slowly drifting down on me

perhaps now I'll sleep

I am not myself

when fear and lonliness strike

or am I more me? 

Friends see my failings

they give encouragement, love

they don't exploit them. 

Rationality

doesn't always play a part

in how things affect.

For example: You.

Loving you was not my plan

and yet it happened. 

Eyelids closing now

thoughts of you help me relax

holding you in dreams.

Originally published September 13, 2010

Secrets

I have secrets
things I hide
from everyone
everyone
but you

He told me
what a terrible person I am
he told me
and I believed him
I believed for so long

He knew me best
he knew my secrets
he knew me
so I had to believe him
had to

I told you my secrets
terrified you would tell me too
what a terrible person I am
you laughed and held me
I've loved you ever since

You have taught me
that we are more
than just our secrets
that I am more
than mine

So I stopped believing him
and started trusting myself
believing
in myself
thank you

You Too

Sometimes a heartbreak
Is inevitable
And you see the signs
Long before you finally
Confront it

When the person you love
Leaves you for another
Knowing they will be happier
And being truly happy for them
Lessons the pain if only a little.

Focus on that love
Hope for their happiness
And know that one day
You too
Will find happiness.

Penguin Dreams

Penguin dreams
Aquamarine
Purple thistle
Blowing in the wind
Warm

Daisy smiles
Wash away time
Freckles frolic
Under slate grey skies
Chilled

Unicorn dances
Blackberry wine
Poured in haste
Hot pink
Happy

Giraffe hugs
Awkwardness
Orange citrus
Invigorating romance
Angry

Porcupine laughs
On a hot summer day
Red
Cinnamon kisses
Tired

Angel arms
Souls caressed
Bluebirds in flight
Finally
Peaceful

Miracles Do Happen

I will not say
that I am not worthy
even though I think it
for I am learning that all
deserve to be loved.

Love should be
something unconditional
given freely
not something
that must be earned.

I have loved you
since before I met you
that I found you at all
is proof
that miracles do happen.

Stars in the Night Sky

Stars in the night sky
Blazing with their fire
Stretched from one end of the galaxy to the other
Will never shine as brightly
As you

Petals

Slowly unfurling layers of silk
The color of embarrassment
And wishful thinking
Opening to revel in the warmth
Of your touch

Packing and Unpacking

I finally realized
Why I have been dragging my feet
On some of this divorce stuff
I thought it was just fear
But it is so much more

I thought I was done
Grieving, hoping, wishing...
And I'm not
But things won't get better
Until I pack those things up too

I need to move on
Physically at least
I can deal with everything else
Later
By myself

I forgive him
For wanting me to be someone I'm not
And for thinking I would change
But more importantly
I forgive myself

So I'm packing up boxes
In my living room
And in my heart
I'm planning my future
And looking forward to unpacking

Fate and Circumstance

Climb with me

to the top of the tallest cliff

where we will leap off

together

and fly away.

I am like you

hopeless

a romantic

terrified

and in love.

Fate

and circumstance

can either

ever

be overcome?

No Greater Gift

There is no greater gift
that you can give another
than the gift of
unconditional
love