Religion

I found religion
and promptly lost it again.
Now I don't know
what to believe
beyond you and me.

And even there I still don't know.
Those times we've been together
are the closest thing
to an old fashioned revival meeting
this side of Dixie.

Calling out to God,
Praise the Lord,
and Hallelujah too.
Promising anything,
anything to feel the rapture.

I may not know what I believe
When it comes to God
and the almighty;
But Baby, I sure as hell know
that I believe in you.

I Believe in Possibilities

I am the passion of purple with a bow of pink
wrapped up in my own insecurities
waiting to be opened by you
I don't just think smart is sexy
I know this to be a universal truth
the same way art is beauty
I dance to the proverbial drummer
In my kitchen alone at night
naked but for my joy
I am searching for my truth
in words, colors, texture and sound
I believe in possibilities
of love and luck and me
and maybe you.

Insomnia

I suffer from insomnia

I've tried warm milk 

that reminds me of my great, great aunt

and how she made that for me when I was a little girl

I've tried sleeping pills

not the kinds that come with the warnings

that you may do things in your sleep

you wouldn't normally do...like drive

but the kind that are the PM in Tylenol PM

run-of-the-mill Benadryl

I've tried having a beer

I can't even say, "or two"

cause I never get past the first one

but even a drink doesn't do the trick for me

I toss and turn

it's one thing or another

I wake up sweating and then I'm freezing

but the answer is not the thermostat

or the bedding, or my nightclothes, or lack thereof

it doesn't matter what tricks or remedies I try

The thing I need to sleep through the night

is you pressed up against me

an arm over me, around me, holding me

to be sated and spent by you

So, to say I suffer from insomnia

is really to say I miss you

so very, very much

and sleeping without you 

just doesn't seem worth the effort

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear

(it crippled me,

left me sobbing on the floor,

completely paralyzed)

was to be alone

Was, because I finally understand

that even when you aren't here

I will never

ever

be completely alone

I am deeply loved

completely loved

unconditionally

across time and distance

Loved

Now there is nothing 

to fear

nothing I can not do

because I am loved

by you.

The Music of Your Soul

I hear the music 

of your soul 

the syncopated rhythm 

of your love 

and I dance.

I want to be...

I want to be
Your possession
Your treasure
Your magic potion
Giving you love
And strength
And joy
And peace
Healing you
Loving you
Your equal
Your everything

originally published 8/11/10

Miracles Do Happen

I will not say
that I am not worthy
even though I think it
for I am learning that all
deserve to be loved.

Love should be
something unconditional
given freely
not something
that must be earned.

I have loved you
since before I met you
that I found you at all
is proof
that miracles do happen.

Silly Little Words

Words strung together

move my heart and soul in ways

that nothing else can.

Holding those I love 

as closely as possible 

any way I can.

I say, "I love you" 

openly and so often 

to remove all doubt.

Silly little words 

when said by someone I love 

mean the world to me

Stars in the Night Sky

Stars in the night sky
Blazing with their fire
Stretched from one end of the galaxy to the other
Will never shine as brightly
As you

I Have Chosen My Own Path

I have chosen
to disconnect
all the buttons
you have become so adept
at pushing

Each day
I take another step
away from you
toward him
and my future

I am still afraid
of what the future holds
but with every day that passes
and every time I hear his voice
my fear diminishes

Now, as I walk through life
I  hold my head up high
and even if I stumble or fall
I see amazing things
and chose my own path

Diamonds

Diamonds

gold

pirate plunder

I'd refuse it all

for one of your smiles.

Thank You

You make me feel

special

I haven't felt

that way

in such a very long time.

That you trust me

with your heart

and soul

makes me want to prove

that I am worthy.

Thank you

for always believing

in the me

that I was almost

too afraid to become.

More Than Chocolate

I have finally found

the only thing on this earth

that I need

more than chocolate

and that's you.

My Rock

When all around is chaos

falling down around my ears

you alone make sense

and keep me steady

you are my rock.

When I am frantic

and frazzled

you alone

have the ability

to calm me completely.

No matter how stressful the day

how frantic the ratrace

one word from you

and it all

disappears.

It's Just Words

It's just words

shaping all our thoughts

just words

over which wars are fought

It's just words

when I cry out in the night

just words

describing dark and light

It's just words

tumbling around and through

just words

that make me think of you

It's your words

when you open your imagination

your words

that are my fascination

The Date

The date

on the calender

doesn't matter

so long as you

are in my life.