Thank You

When I thought I was at the bottom

you held me through the pain

gave me words

and music

set my soul free

And when I kept sinking

lower than I could imagine

you were the knot

at the end of my rope

that I held on to for dear life

A nervous cat had nothing on me

I trembled at the slightest sound

your voice calmed the storm

chased the demons

told me I would make it through

I believed in you

even when I didn't believe in me

you were always right

so smart, so strong

the answer to my questions

Now I'm so much stronger

no longer afraid

of what the future holds

and still I have the music

now I sing the words

I've let go of the pain

free to dance happily

you are always there for me

friends no matter what 

the future holds

For Katie

Don't ever think 

or pretend 

that you don't have a heart. 

They are so fragile, 

and so easily hurt; 

but without one

you are nothing. 

Better to feel 

and suffer 

the occasional pain 

that comes from feeling 

than to never 

feel anything 

of any depth at all.

The Price of Freedom

The price of freedom
how we chose to measure that
measures us as well.

If measured in coins
then at what price do we sell
our bodies and souls?

If measured in time
do we count in years or days?
How long is too long?

If measured in tears
we will surely float away
a river of pain.

But measured in hopes
in candles flickering glow
a price gladly paid.

I Found You

As I let go of all the pain

let go of the hurt and the hate

my heart was open and empty

and love came in

As I learned that jealousy

happens when I am insecure

and that passive aggression

is just immaturity, I have grown

As I began to understand 

myself and all my faults

I gained insight into others

and their shortcomings as well

When I let love come in

I began to understand and grow

And as I gained insight

I found you.

Today's Lesson: Coping with Pain and Grief

Today's lesson folks:

When you hold it all in and

say you're fine, you're not. 

Mind, body, and soul

have infinite room for joy

not so pain and grief. 

As the hurt flows in

process it and let it go

no need to keep it. 

Joy is what to hold

each little bit that finds you

smiles, giggles, hold those. 

When indeed you hurt

and who among us hasn't

it's okay to cry. 

It's okay to need

a shoulder, an ear, a hug

let people help you. 

What's the point of friends

If you never lean on them

let them do their job. 

One day down the road

roles will be reversed and I

will be there for you.

It Should Be Raining

Words, sounds, syllables,

phrases, thoughts, ideas, noise

jumbled in my head. 

Naked emotions

flow freely competing for

the breath to gain life. 

Finding new lessons

patience, compassion, faith, trust

hardest in my life. 

Learning watching him

He shows me such patient love

His love centers me. 

Trying to focus

on the truly important

not getting bogged down. 

Never my intent

hating that I have caused pain

you deserved better. 

Laughter, color, love

our children's faces happy

things I believe in. 

Time changes people

I wish we could undo it

doesn't work that way. 

Encouraging words

unconditional love, trust

the things he gives me 

I want to be proud

of myself, our kids, and you

how we handle this. 

I found the courage

to say I don't deserve this

we all deserve more. 

It looks sunny out

emotional disconnect

it should be raining. 

Chase away the clouds

my favorite things, my loves

colors bright and bold.