For Katie

Don't ever think 

or pretend 

that you don't have a heart. 

They are so fragile, 

and so easily hurt; 

but without one

you are nothing. 

Better to feel 

and suffer 

the occasional pain 

that comes from feeling 

than to never 

feel anything 

of any depth at all.

I Write Poems

I write poems

because I believe in words

I believe in feeling

things deeply

completely

examining the world around me

examining myself

stirring up the emotions

and throwing the words that bubble

to the surface

of who I am

who I have been

and who I am meant to be

at the paper in front of me

and seeing what sticks

I write poems

to free myself

from me

to give myself

to you

to search my soul for you

and share the lessons I and we learn

exposing the truth of what I have lived

the hope of who I am becoming

writing the words that are

the double edged sword

of joy and pain

that life delivers as twins

birthed from the living of life

surviving and thriving in the sharing

of simple words 

that say so much

One Person

I remember the day
You came into my life
We had ordinary conversations
And yet they were more than that

Little did I know
That day I first met you
How you would change my life
In so many ways

I can hear you now
Telling me how you've hurt me
But you couldn't be
More wrong

You were that one person
Who believed in me
When I didn't believe
In myself

You gave me strength
When I was weak
Love when I felt unlovable
And most of all hope

It only takes one person
To make a difference
And for me
You will always be that person

Thank you, my friend
For loving me unconditionally
And telling me I deserve to be loved
Even though I am so flawed

Thank you, my love
For putting up with my insecurities
As I learned to be secure
As you taught me so much

You are just one person
Flawed and yet perfect
Wise and gentle and wonderful
One person I'll always love

Roller Coaster

Pride lifts me up
Fear sends me crashing back down
Again

I think of you
And I'm giddy, soaring
Then I stumble
Suddenly I'm disappointed
Back down to the depths

Someone hands me hope
And I can hear the gears
Click-clacking as I climb again

I know every up
Comes with a down
So much of this is out of my control
But you and me
Shouldn't be

I'm waiting for the next fall
Holding my breath
Scared that it will be you

Your sweet voice
Cuts through the interminable
Noise of the links pulling my car up the steep hill
Suddenly the car is pulling to the platform
And I wake in your arms

Our Words Dance

Our words dance
Around our separate truths
Listening to discern
Our commonality
And a new truth together

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear

(it crippled me,

left me sobbing on the floor,

completely paralyzed)

was to be alone

Was, because I finally understand

that even when you aren't here

I will never

ever

be completely alone

I am deeply loved

completely loved

unconditionally

across time and distance

Loved

Now there is nothing 

to fear

nothing I can not do

because I am loved

by you.

My Love

Loves laughter
Dancing on the sweet
Scent of desire
Warm
Wet
Gently floating amid patience
When the strength and security
Of your arms
Reaches out
Wraps me up
Like a present tied with a velvet bow
Pulling me in
And when butterflies kiss
Fluttering heartbeats
Soft moans
Spill over flooding
Then and only then
Silently treading
Tiptoeing
Gently knocking on my soul's door
Heart opened
You walk in
And I am home
My love

The Price of Freedom

The price of freedom
how we chose to measure that
measures us as well.

If measured in coins
then at what price do we sell
our bodies and souls?

If measured in time
do we count in years or days?
How long is too long?

If measured in tears
we will surely float away
a river of pain.

But measured in hopes
in candles flickering glow
a price gladly paid.

When Souls Become Twined

When souls become twined
Each the other has a piece
Together always.

Snuggling

Snuggled close to you

wrapped safely in your arms

not moving

not talking

just breathing you in

the scents of love

and lust

and desire

mixing together

in the heady aroma

of you

and me

neither one of us

needing anything

no agendas

no nothing

just the two of us

breathing

Walking In a Dream

My feet fall softly
On the carpet of dead leaves
Long forgotten memories
From summers past
Death's cliché of dirt
Fallen from grace

How many steps
Have I taken down this path?
I did not think to count
When first I stumbled here
I awoke. As if from a dream
Darkness all around me

Warm golden light
Dapples through the canopy
Until the dark closes in
And the blackness presses close
The steady passage of time
Marked between

There are no birds here
No insects or animals
The only sounds
Are the wind and my footfalls
Counting out the measure
Of a solitary march

There is a fog
Once thick and dark
That is gradually lifting
Each day as the sun filters through
More and more of its gentle warmth
Pushes through to warm my soul

I have no memory
Of when I started
I know where I came from
But not where I am going
Suddenly finding myself here
Off balance between then and what?

I measure my progress
Not in feet or footfalls
Not in days or miles
Nor in the aches in my exhausted frame
But in the warmth I feel
As the fog lifts from my soul

While I don't know where
This lonely path is leading
Or how long it will take me
To reach the end
I do know that you are waiting there
And that keeps me moving