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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Uplifting

I lift my eyes to the sky
Closing them in pleasure
As the warmth of a new day
A day of promise and possibility
Washes over me

I lift my hands
To those needing a hand up
Some days I am that person too
Can we all help each other?

I lift my heart
Glad for all the opportunities
This life gives me
Day in and day out
I am grateful for so much

I lift up my voice
In words and melodies
Celebrating each moment
That I have with you

My trials are small
Compared to so many
My burdens light
I have an abundance of riches
That I am thankful for
Each and every day

My greatest wishes
Are that I continue
To learn and grow
To have grace and compassion
To do better each day
And have humility on those days
When I am not all that I should be

Lift up your eyes and your hands
Your hearts and your voices
With me
That we may help each other
Love each other
And experience all of the joy
And wonder
That this world holds for us

Saturday, June 23, 2012

My Imperfections

I can't stand here and act holier than thou
I never claimed to be perfect
In fact, I'm the furthest thing from it
That I know

I wear all of my imperfections
Like a crazy-quilt shawl
Draped over my shoulders
Colors and textures so discordant they harmonize

When my laziness and shyness
Conspire against me
I need someone behind me
Urging me forward

Not someone towering over me
Pushing me down
Pushing me back
Recounting my sins

For they are many
And I am weak
But each day I grow stronger
As I heal myself from within

The gentle nudges forward
Help me move past my past
Understanding and accepting
All of my imperfections.


Sent from my iPhone

Friday, June 22, 2012

Fit For a Friday

The smell of wet asphalt
Rolls up off the parking lot
The urban equivalent of wet dog

The rain is half-hearted
Not the purposeful anger
Of a thunderstorm
Intent on reminding us
How powerless we really are

No, this is the kind of rain
When it gets so humid
That the greedy clouds just can't hold any more
And the excess slowly bleeds off
Reluctantly supplying some relief

A melancholy moisture
Fit for a Friday
At the end of a very long week
A respite of rain
Before a glorious weekend


Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Reader's Wish

Dancing, swirling around me
Breathing on their own
And giving breath to me
These words--magical, alive
I am under their spell
Demonic or righteous
I care not which
Only that they never end


Sent from my iPhone

The Writer

We all have the same words
Yet yours are strung together
In such a way
As to make me feel things

They are just words
And yet a tear slides down my cheek
When the meaning behind the marks
Becomes clear

You arrange simple words
In such a way--your way
And your stories
Become embedded in my soul

How I see the world
Becomes forever changed
By simple words, touched by you
Thank you


Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

On the High Wire

Every day
From that first moment
Of almost consciousness
To the bookended instant
When I finally let go
And sink into the blackness
I waver between okay
And not

Taking one cautious step
After another
Feeling my way along
Terrified that I will lose my footing
And fall into the abyss

I used to have a net
But I got better at this
Or so he tells me
This high wire act of sanity stepping

I shouldn't look down
But I have to
Just to assure myself
That I'm still safely up above

I've fallen many times
But my net was always there
To catch me
Before I hurt myself

The trick now is noticing
That instant before I wobble
To stop myself before I slip
I can't afford to fall again
Now that I'm on my own

I slowly work my way
Across the chasm
Inch by agonizing inch
Wondering what or who I will find
When I reach the end
And safety
And will it have been worth
This circus stunt existence.


Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, June 17, 2012

One More Promise

Razor blades slowly slicing
Ribboning skin
Sadistic zebra stripes of blood
Couldn't hurt worse

Crying doesn't help
There aren't enough tears
To wash away this pain
Without drowning

Trying to hold it all in
Hold yourself together
So confused, so scared
Where do you go from here?

You take one breath at a time
Slowly, in AND out
Then you take another
And you let each breath heal you

You let go and let friends catch you
We won't let you down
We have strength enough to share
Now is when you take

Some of us have been where you are now
I have been there
To hell and back
I can give you the 10 cent tour

It took time
For me to understand
That I am loved
And lovable.

You, my dear friend, are loved
You are infinitely lovable too
This is just a shitty time
But time passes and this will too

We are here for you
I am here for you
If you don't think you can lean on us
We will pick your ass up and carry you

But if you make me carry you
Cause you know I will if I have to
After we get to the other side
I'll kick you in it.

Just one more promise
Along with the one where I promise
You will be okay
Because we will make sure of it

I promise.
I love you.


Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My Writing Doesn't Suck

There is stuff (written stuff) out there that sucks.  There's lots of other stuff out there that sucks too but that's a different post. I'd never want to have to tell someone their words don't line up in such a way as to avoid suckage and I don't think I've ever met anyone that I would say that about. But I've read some pretty awful stuff a few times and heard of worse. 

So, where do I get the balls to say that MY writing isn't crap? That's just it...having the balls, the confidence is a huge part of knowing that I can string words together in an at least passable way. Confidence is not something I wear well. I still feel uncomfortable in my confidence. Yeah, I know that doesn't really make sense. 

I read a lot...usually other writers: prose and poetry. I usually think my work pales in comparison. My faults, as a writer, are many. My vocabulary, while above average, is nothing compared to so many. Logic and I have never been properly introduced. Oh, wait, a friend once did me the favor of making introductions, but we found we had nothing in common and after some small talk about the weather went our separate ways. My cat, who tends to fall off the bed at least once every few days because he forgets that he's laying at the edge, is more clever than I will ever be. And finally, I am ADD enabled and imagination impaired. 

I swoon when I read works by other poets. Wishing I could use such imagery or build layers of subtlety into my work. Hell, some days I'd just like to have a point. 

Yet, I'm saying I now know that my writing doesn't suck. I finally figured out, with the help of people telling me when something I've written has struck them in some way, and by going back and reading through my own words, that what I'm doing is okay. It's not the same as the things that make me swoon. And, that's okay too.

I often think my style is too abrupt, too angst-ridden, too simple. Now, I know it's just me. My writing can only ever be just me. I can see changes in my words from then to now. Sometimes I even see what I would call improvements in the changes. But now is not the time to judge. And, from whom would I get the standards from to do such judging? 

I'm learning to put words down on a regular basis. To write. And to keep writing. I often tweet to Just. Keep. Writing. and I'm finally starting to take my own advice. Because writing isn't the kind of endeavor that has limits. Sure, there are guidelines for what to call groups of words of certain sizes (like novel, novella, novelette, and the ubiquitous Lowell that encompasses the fourth dimension of time as well); but beyond that, there are no rules... 

Except that to be a writer you need to write. And, in understanding and practicing that, I am gaining confidence. The confidence to finally understand that what I'm doing is okay. And I just need to keep doing it...

Thursday, June 14, 2012

On Base

Remember when we were kids
And a game of tag
Was endless fun
On a summer evening?

The stately oaks that gave us shade
Were put to use as bases too

There were four
Or was it five?
Guarding the corners of our lawn
With lots of running room between

We would wait until whoever was 'It'
Looked the other way
And then sprint, as fast as our little legs could carry us
To a different base

A safe zone
My heart pounding out of my chest
Panting for air
Triumphant.

It was here that I regrouped
Here I caught my breath

I think of this game
And that feeling of safety
And security
And catching my breath after taking a chance

As I touch base with you
After venturing out into the world
Playing grown up games now
Still needing time on base to breathe

Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Jake

Giggle fits
Silly looks
Cheers and groans
And high fives too

Reading, singing
Snuggling close
I love this time
With you


Sent from my iPhone

Friday, June 08, 2012

Message

Letters and symbols
Lines and designs
Absentmindedly traced across your skin
My fingers writing forgotten words
In the shadow of a shoulder-blade
While I concentrate on your ear
And delivering a message by lips
The warmth of my breath the punctuation



Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Moments of Joy

That sideways look
As if I'm not supposed to see it
The grin that follows
And the gleam in your eyes

A hug between friends
Gentle yet strong
Tender and warm
Breathing in the scent of you

Saying something stupid
That immediately invokes a laugh
Giggling about it for three days
Or three years. Just because.

Holding hands and hearts
Dancing to a song only we can hear
That moment of "A ha!"
And the wonderment of you


Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, June 02, 2012

I Believe

I believe in love at first sight
but not happily ever after
people constantly change
and forever is a very long time

I believe in loving many
because one person
can not be everything
for another

I believe I am far from perfect
and I will do my best
to forgive you your flaws
if you forgive me mine

I believe in heaven
because I've felt it in your embrace
and hell is any time
that I'm away from you

I believe in art for art's sake
in finger painting with children
in letting go of self restraint
and pretending no one is watching

I believe children have all the answers
and we could learn so much
if only we first learn to let ourselves
be child-like again

I believe in words
and the power of saying
"I'm sorry"
and "I love you"

But mostly I believe in you









Sent from my iPhone

Friday, June 01, 2012

The Depth of You

Laughter sits
lightly on my lips
tumbling off
every time you make me smile

I am powerless
against your charisma
happily locked in your embrace
bound soul to soul

I carry music in my heart
its thumping rhythm
pulsing life through my veins
as I sing to you

The vastness of all creativity
is my universe
as I explore infinity
in the depth of you