Max

Biologically, a parent

is always a parent

and your child

is always your child

But there comes a time

when the child

becomes an adult

and the relationship changes

I am so glad that

over the years

we have always been friends

and that hasn't changed

What has changed

is that now 

you are an adult too

and you're still my best friend

I have talked to you

since before you were born

We've laughed at little kid things

and now grown up stuff too

We've had some rough times

but we've come through them just fine

You are a great kid

and I'm glad you're my friend.

Max's List

We have always kept a grocery list on the refrigerator.  The theory is that when you notice you are using the last of something (or god forbid getting close to the last of something) or you want something that we are already out of you write it on the list.  The truth is that more often than not I'm the one to write most of the stuff down.  When the kids first attempt to write something (like candy) on the list in beginner penmanship it has been amusing.  Never, has it purposefully been used for comic effect.  Until now...

This morning as I went to the fridge to get the butter for my toast and the milk for my latte I noticed writing on the list.  I had gone to the grocery store just a couple of days ago, I knew I hadn't started a new list yet, and the younger kids are with their dad this weekend.  

Hmmm...I wonder what Max wants from the store?

Vodka

Tequila

Strippers

Fireworks (the big illegal kind)

Happy-in-a-can

Monkeys

Midgets

Midget-Monkeys

*SNORT* Good thing I wasn't already drinking my tea...

Now I wonder how long he's been waiting for me to notice...

Bittersweet

Holidays are here
a bittersweet time this year
our last together.

A Truthful Thanksgiving

Soon we will sit down
'round a table, with family and or friends,
Laden with favorite foods
Bow our heads in thought or prayer
And say what we are thankful for


We will mention health
Or caring physicians
When we
Or someone we love
Is lacking in this regard


We will mention family
But what we'll
Really mean
Is the ones we can stand
Or that don't drive us nuts


We will mention jobs
Because we're thankful
For the money they put in our pocket
Not for the idiots and assholes
Who also work there


If, when we sit down
We are truly honest with ourselves
Some people might be shocked
To know what we are
Really thankful for


Face it
We're thankful we made it
Through another year
Without killing some asshole
Who truly is deserving


We are thankful
for mindless distractions
Like video games, books, and movies
That let us escape from hell
For just a short while


We are thankful for the alcohol
Or the drugs
Or the sex
That deadens the pain
Or makes life tolerable


I, personally, am thankful
That my husband and I
Are finding a way to work through divorce
As gently as possible
For us and our children


I am thankful for the friends
Who love and support me
Who challenge me to be
Everything that I can
Even when I don't know what or who that is


I am thankful for my children
Who amaze me every day
With their unique brilliance
The wonderful people they are now
And the people they are becoming


I am thankful for the words
That flow from somewhere inside
Helping me make sense of my world
And from friends near and far
Sharing themselves with us


I am thankful for art
Colors, objects, and images
Made, found, observed
Keeping the darkness at bay
Lighting my world, my soul


Mostly I am thankful
For those I love
Who for some reason
Unfathomable to me
Chose to love me in return

It Should Be Raining

Words, sounds, syllables,

phrases, thoughts, ideas, noise

jumbled in my head. 

Naked emotions

flow freely competing for

the breath to gain life. 

Finding new lessons

patience, compassion, faith, trust

hardest in my life. 

Learning watching him

He shows me such patient love

His love centers me. 

Trying to focus

on the truly important

not getting bogged down. 

Never my intent

hating that I have caused pain

you deserved better. 

Laughter, color, love

our children's faces happy

things I believe in. 

Time changes people

I wish we could undo it

doesn't work that way. 

Encouraging words

unconditional love, trust

the things he gives me 

I want to be proud

of myself, our kids, and you

how we handle this. 

I found the courage

to say I don't deserve this

we all deserve more. 

It looks sunny out

emotional disconnect

it should be raining. 

Chase away the clouds

my favorite things, my loves

colors bright and bold.