35 Posts and counting...

When I decided to post a poem a day for National Poetry Month I never imagined I would have 35 posts up by April 27th.  Posting once a day isn't really that difficult when it's only a poem. Well, at least not for me.  Though, I have to admit there were a few days where I was less than inspired.  You can tell those days by the single short entries.  Meanwhile, there were a few where I was inspired and either wrote longer pieces, or multiple entries.  

I tend to have big ideas and good intentions and crappy follow-through. So, I'm proud of myself for not wimping out and missing any days. And, yes, I know the month isn't quite over yet; but at this point I have enough faith in myself to know I'll finish it out with a poem each day.

I'm glad I did this...I'd like to continue it as long as I can. It's become a pretty cool habit. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read any of all of these this month.  If anything strikes you in any way, I'd love your feedback (good, bad, or indifferent). Hearing people's thoughts on my writing helps me improve, and makes it all worthwhile.

Max

Biologically, a parent

is always a parent

and your child

is always your child

But there comes a time

when the child

becomes an adult

and the relationship changes

I am so glad that

over the years

we have always been friends

and that hasn't changed

What has changed

is that now 

you are an adult too

and you're still my best friend

I have talked to you

since before you were born

We've laughed at little kid things

and now grown up stuff too

We've had some rough times

but we've come through them just fine

You are a great kid

and I'm glad you're my friend.

Impasse

There is a moment in time
between nothing and something
when something's gotta give.
It may only be a heartbeat,
or the time it takes
to walk away
from your heart's desire.
But there comes a point
when the time for talking
has finally passed
and the only thing left
to do is...something.
But what that something is
can only be decided
in that brief moment
of impasse...



This poem was inspired by the synopsis of a movie by the same name. The screenplay was written by Jeanne Veillete Bowerman @Jeannevb (you can read about it on her website and it will be directed by Michael Bekemeyer @Bekemeyer.


This movie is a KickStarter project. Please check it out (AND CONTRIBUTE)!! 


When I read the synopsis I was moved to tears. I know that moment of impasse all too well. I knew in that moment that I had to do whatever I could to help Mike and Jeanne get this movie made. I don't have much spare cash these days, but they don't need a lot from any one person...they just need a big 'ole bunch of us to skip a latte or two and help get the word out. So, that's what I'm doing.
Check it out. If it moves you even a little bit, please consider donating. Even $1 counts. If you have a website or blog or facebook, G+ or twitter account follow these two wonderful, creative individuals and help spread the word.

Thank you.

Clown

I see your false smile,
the one you wear
when you perform
for the kiddies and their parents

It sends a shiver
up my arms,
up my spine,
to the base of my skull.

The corners of your mouth are tight;
there is no smile
in your eyes.
You can't pretend there.

I know the clown
behind the fake smile
and that's why
I left the circus

Religion

I found religion
and promptly lost it again.
Now I don't know
what to believe
beyond you and me.

And even there I still don't know.
Those times we've been together
are the closest thing
to an old fashioned revival meeting
this side of Dixie.

Calling out to God,
Praise the Lord,
and Hallelujah too.
Promising anything,
anything to feel the rapture.

I may not know what I believe
When it comes to God
and the almighty;
But Baby, I sure as hell know
that I believe in you.

I Believe in Possibilities

I am the passion of purple with a bow of pink
wrapped up in my own insecurities
waiting to be opened by you
I don't just think smart is sexy
I know this to be a universal truth
the same way art is beauty
I dance to the proverbial drummer
In my kitchen alone at night
naked but for my joy
I am searching for my truth
in words, colors, texture and sound
I believe in possibilities
of love and luck and me
and maybe you.

One of Those Days

Most days I'm so much happier
not being in a relationship.
Well, let me rephrase that.
I have lots of relationships
and I'm in them
completely.
It's more like not being
in a romantic one
that's here and now
instead of across time and distance;
not being part of a pair.

I've grown to appreciate
that being alone
doesn't mean being lonely.

I like not having to ask permission
of anyone else
'cause for me that's what
a relationship has meant
for so long

Most days
I'm happy just being me.
Unfortunately,
today isn't one of those days;
and, I'd give anything
to be in your arms right now.

if I pretend to believe

if I pretend to believe

cause I'm pretty sure I don't anymore

that love is still possible

love that is possible in the first place

cause I've found plenty of love

it's just not possible

as my loves already have other loves

and I am a distant second

or even a far-off third

so they really aren't possible at all

is there the slimmest of chances

that it will find me

even though I've just about given up

on finding it myself

or will it give up on me too

the way I've given up on it

and then maybe the whole thing

will be called on account of rain

My Apathy is Boundless

my apathy is boundless

constant struggle to find meaning

when I am certain there is none

am I kidding myself?

can I do this? any of it?

and even if I can

survive

is that all I can do?

I'm not sure the big picture

is much bigger than that

so many ideas

so many dreams

constantly fighting the urge

to start something else new

when there's already so much begun

time and the heretofore mentioned apathy

are my enemies

that is until you factor in laziness

and the ever present

artist dancing daydreaming

if I try to remember

and yes, I said, 'try'

because I've given up on promises

to take one idea, one dream at a time

can I do it? is that enough?

Why Hate?

Why hate?

Why push someone else down

to lift yourself up?

Is there no other way for you?

Would it be so fucking funny

If you were the one being pointed at?

Shoved to the ground?

Stepped on?

Can you learn?

Or is it too late for you

to see the error of your ways?

What can we do to teach you?

Or are you simply incapable

of feeling empathy

putting yourself in others' shoes?

I feel so sorry for you.

I can only wonder at you

at how empty your life must be.

We will help and hold

and do everything in our power

to help your victim

to support the innocent

to make sure they understand

they are perfect exactly as they are.

You, however, are not.

And that's the saddest thing of all.

NO!

A single word can't hurt anyone

Can it?

What about when it's spoken

to a child?

Words like faggot

freak

retard

spaz

homo

dyke

queer

lesbo

moron

What new words will bullies

of all ages

come up with next

to say to some poor soul

who had done nothing to anyone

(nothing except try to live their life

figure out who and what they are

their purpose in this life)

all to make themselves feel better

about their own pathetic life?

Since you and I

are smart enough to know

to understand

that there is power in every single, little word

let's us

you and I

use one in return; 

NO!

We

Each person is unique
And we see the world
From our own perspective
But what we often forget
Is that in so many ways
We are really the same

We all have fears
And doubts
And baggage we carry around
With us every step of every day

We all struggle with inner demons
We hear the voices
Of our inner child
Wanting to be included
To be loved
And of our worst critic
Telling us our faults
Telling us we are not worthy of love

We all want success
In whatever roles we have chosen
Artist, parent, child
Spouse, lover, businessperson
Humanitarian, and the list goes on

How do we know
When we have accomplished our goals?
What do we attain to quell these fears?
How do we even begin
To go about these things?

The answers are friends
And the sharing of these things
Realizing that no matter what our circumstances
We have common desires
And fears

And when we bring our experiences
Along with our fears and hopes and dreams
And put them out in the open
Amongst friends

Then our individuality
Can shine in our shared experience
And we will each succeed
When supported by the others

Insomnia

I suffer from insomnia

I've tried warm milk 

that reminds me of my great, great aunt

and how she made that for me when I was a little girl

I've tried sleeping pills

not the kinds that come with the warnings

that you may do things in your sleep

you wouldn't normally do...like drive

but the kind that are the PM in Tylenol PM

run-of-the-mill Benadryl

I've tried having a beer

I can't even say, "or two"

cause I never get past the first one

but even a drink doesn't do the trick for me

I toss and turn

it's one thing or another

I wake up sweating and then I'm freezing

but the answer is not the thermostat

or the bedding, or my nightclothes, or lack thereof

it doesn't matter what tricks or remedies I try

The thing I need to sleep through the night

is you pressed up against me

an arm over me, around me, holding me

to be sated and spent by you

So, to say I suffer from insomnia

is really to say I miss you

so very, very much

and sleeping without you 

just doesn't seem worth the effort

Doorway

A doorway is
An introduction
An invitation
A building's business card

It welcomes you
Or not
What lies behind?
Who?

A simple opening
Closed
Guarding the interior
Hole in a wall

Framed
Gilded
Decorated description
Of life and things within

May I come in?

Dragon's Wing

Dragon's wing

orange and red

against a field of blue

dipping, soaring

engines roaring

bringing me to you

Thank You

When I thought I was at the bottom

you held me through the pain

gave me words

and music

set my soul free

And when I kept sinking

lower than I could imagine

you were the knot

at the end of my rope

that I held on to for dear life

A nervous cat had nothing on me

I trembled at the slightest sound

your voice calmed the storm

chased the demons

told me I would make it through

I believed in you

even when I didn't believe in me

you were always right

so smart, so strong

the answer to my questions

Now I'm so much stronger

no longer afraid

of what the future holds

and still I have the music

now I sing the words

I've let go of the pain

free to dance happily

you are always there for me

friends no matter what 

the future holds

For Katie

Don't ever think 

or pretend 

that you don't have a heart. 

They are so fragile, 

and so easily hurt; 

but without one

you are nothing. 

Better to feel 

and suffer 

the occasional pain 

that comes from feeling 

than to never 

feel anything 

of any depth at all.

I Write Poems

I write poems

because I believe in words

I believe in feeling

things deeply

completely

examining the world around me

examining myself

stirring up the emotions

and throwing the words that bubble

to the surface

of who I am

who I have been

and who I am meant to be

at the paper in front of me

and seeing what sticks

I write poems

to free myself

from me

to give myself

to you

to search my soul for you

and share the lessons I and we learn

exposing the truth of what I have lived

the hope of who I am becoming

writing the words that are

the double edged sword

of joy and pain

that life delivers as twins

birthed from the living of life

surviving and thriving in the sharing

of simple words 

that say so much

One Person

I remember the day
You came into my life
We had ordinary conversations
And yet they were more than that

Little did I know
That day I first met you
How you would change my life
In so many ways

I can hear you now
Telling me how you've hurt me
But you couldn't be
More wrong

You were that one person
Who believed in me
When I didn't believe
In myself

You gave me strength
When I was weak
Love when I felt unlovable
And most of all hope

It only takes one person
To make a difference
And for me
You will always be that person

Thank you, my friend
For loving me unconditionally
And telling me I deserve to be loved
Even though I am so flawed

Thank you, my love
For putting up with my insecurities
As I learned to be secure
As you taught me so much

You are just one person
Flawed and yet perfect
Wise and gentle and wonderful
One person I'll always love

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear

(it crippled me,

left me sobbing on the floor,

completely paralyzed)

was to be alone

Was, because I finally understand

that even when you aren't here

I will never

ever

be completely alone

I am deeply loved

completely loved

unconditionally

across time and distance

Loved

Now there is nothing 

to fear

nothing I can not do

because I am loved

by you.