Stephanie posted about us all taking any and all bad luck for Lee Ann so that she might have only good luck and speedy healing following her brain surgery. Well Lee Ann, let me tell you...aparently my two year old reads the Harlot too!!
I decided to take a slightly longer than normal shower the other day (silly me, what was I thinking???) so that I could take care of those chores that are neccessary in the warmer weather (shaving my legs...yuck!) so as to avoid having small children point and shreek. Not that I grow very much hair but it is noticible poolside.
Anyway, as I was saying, I was indisposed for maybe 15 minutes (I know, a lifetime for a rambunctious todler). I had asked the 9 year old to keep an eye on the Midget but had also told him he didn't have to stay in with him if he were getting beaten to a pulp. Now, we have a series of hook and eye closures installed on the upstairs doors and a gate across part of the hallway in such a way as to be able to pen the little tyrant in his room and part of the upstairs hall. The bathroom, our bedroom, and our other boys' room are off limits. The only non-child thing in this space is a large bookshelf at the end of the hall that we use as a sort of linen closet (since this house has none!?).
When I stepped out of the shower my first thought was, "Wow, it is so nice and quiet". My second thought was, "Oh shit! It's too quiet! M*I*D*G*E*T!!!!!". I stepped out of the bathroom and pivoted to look into his room...
He was standing in the doorway with his shoes, his toy firetruck, his legs, his clothes, and EVERY possible mm of his arms SLATHERED in what I originally thought was lotion! I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. The 9 year old came running when I started ranting in tongues. As I tried to figure out what exactly he had all over himself I noticed a 22 oz. bottle of shampoo on the shelf at the end of the hall that had the mysterious substance smeared on its side. Ah Ha! I picked up the "brand new, never used 22 oz bottle" only to discover that it weighed NOTHING!! Then I made the mistake of looking in his room....you guessed it. PUDDLES on the carpet, on the heater, on the blankets...EVERYWHERE!
Thankfully, he didn't get any in his eyes, nose, or mouth. They were the only places he didn't think would be improved with a layer of shampoo.
So, Lee Ann you hurry up and get better fast. We're all praying for you and keeping you in our thoughts. We will gladly take the bad luck if it helps. But my God Woman! Hurry up already! I've got a two year old trying to do his part and he's killing me!!