Saturday, April 14, 2012

Don't Look Down

Standing out on the ledge
shaking from fear
and nervous energy
goosebumps crawling
over my flesh.
I'm cold,
I'm hot,
I'm scared and excited too.

I hear your voice in my head,
in my heart,
telling me to believe in myself
because you belive in me.
Deep breaths.
I calm and center myself.

Then I look down.
And the bottom falls out of my stomach,
and I'm afraid my heart will explode
at the jackhammer pace it's going,
and I'm cold,
and hot again,
and my skin is so wet from sweat
I'm afraid I'm gonna slide off the ledge,

"STOP!" you say
And I do.
And we wait for my pulse to quiet.
And I'm back to taking deep breaths.
I stretch out these wings that you have given me.

Mine were broken.
You patched me back together
like a broken doll
that needed mending
and some TLC.

They are whole again.
I am whole again.
These wings are strong
they are your gift to me

The air is soft and warm
so seldom has it felt soft
usually it is harsh.
Unless I'm with you.

But today,
here on this ledge,
it feels different.
You and I are different.

"This time, don't look down"
I hear you say.
"Don't ever look down again.
You can do this.
There's nothing holding you back."

And as you say this
I feel the chains drop
from my aching frame,
from my soul.

I lift these wings,
that are your gift,
and with a gentle push
I am free to soar.

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