Let Me Go in Peace

When I say that I know
That you are out there
Somewhere for me
I also mean You
I think
Or maybe not
You see the thing is
I really don't know
I want to
To be certain must bring
A particular kind of peace
A knowing
A certainty
We already live in such
An uncertain world
But when I look at
All of the evil, terrible things
That humans have done
To other humans
To animals
To the world in general
And think about all the creatures
Who have died horrible deaths
Billions over the course of time
So many in the name of
Religion
I have a very hard time
Believing
That this thing
Or person-like entity
That you call 'God'
By so many names
Exists
I think we're all just scared
That this is all there is
When we see things
All around us
In the beauty of the world
Mathematical coincidences
That couldn't possibly be
Coincidences
Things we can't
Or couldn't before
Explain without magic
And we want so much
For others to behave like us
Because that which we can't understand
Must be wrong
We want to scare each other
Tempt each other
Tease and coerce each other
Into being the same
Into doing what we think is right
Because our loving god
Our vengefull god
Our whatever version of god
Demands it
When really it's okay
To not understand things
It's okay to search for the answers
Without using a crutch
To explain away the unknown
To kill one another in our own names
Makes so much more sense
Than to blame a greater unknown
And the idea of loving
One another
Doesn't need to come from on high
I doubt my searching
Will yield any definitive results
And I'm okay with not believing
In any of your
Particular Truths
I'll go on letting you
Have your beliefs
I just wish you could allow me
To not have mine
I understand you truly believe
And that's fine by me
But why do you care
That I don't?
How does what I do or don't believe
Affect you?
That's my biggest rub with religion
If you are so secure
In your beliefs
And I'm going to hell
Than, for god's sake,
Yours or his or hers
Or somebody's
Let me go in peace.