Saturday, May 19, 2012


I can feel the excitement building
it's a palpable thing
slowly, steadily
each day taking a deep breath
gets just a little bit harder

I can't wait to see them all
to see you
friends who know me
and understand me
and love me anyway

friends who celebrate quirkiness
and creativity
who know that an unfinished project
is not a sign of laziness
but that a louder muse called

to be hugged and held
and yes, even kissed
to let out that breath
that I've been holding
for almost a year now

but with all the excitement
there is also fear
old issues I get closer to being past each year
new issues that come with all of the changes
of this new life

they sneak up on me
in that instant just after
they are cold hands
sliding over my skin
trying to pull me down

your warmth and love
chase them away
the same way you've helped me
chase all the other fears away
these past few years

so when the fear sneaks in
I will think of you
and be excited for the joy
of being able to spend a few days
basking in all that is you

I will give myself permission
to relax and be me
knowing it's okay 
and I'll enjoy this excitement
that builds on my way to you

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