I'm Numb

I'm numb
After all the anger
All the rage
There is no happiness
Only exhaustion
And relief
And an overwhelming sense of numbness

When all is said and done
Nothing gets said
Of your temper
Or my affair
And it all comes down to numbers
Money
Who owes whom what

We separate all of the things
Share the kids
And move numbers back and forth
From column to column
Until we're equally unhappy
And able to live
With the results

I never understood
And I guess no one else ever will either
Unless they've been through it too
How completely
Soul-suckingly awful
A divorce could be
Until I went through it myself

I've been sad
And depressed
For so long
That I'm finally giving myself permission
To feel something else now
I'd like to feel happy
But all I can manage is numb